Thursday, June 25, 2009

The 'Roids

I'm having trouble sleeping lately, and I'm blaming it on the steroids they're giving me to keep my headaches in check. Yes, I'm still getting headaches from a lumbar puncture ages ago - I'm a modern freakin' marvel of medicine if you ask my doctor, pretty average if you ask a lot of ladies who've had lumbar punctures before. As the steroids are being tapered off (one of those things you don't just up and quit, I guess) my ravenous appetite and sleeplessness are kinda getting better, but still bothersome at odd times. The thing is, all the sleep I've lost, Teddy seems to have found! He goes to bed at 7:30 these days if he can - no lies. I want to invent a brain-machine that will channel at least some of his sleep to me... ROAR!

In other news, my mom will finally be going home soon. That doesn't sound the way I intended it... You see, the saint of a woman has been here since my diagnosis in February. Living with us. Away from her husband, job, income, responsibilities, and essentially her life. Oh my god, how do I deserve such a mother's love? I am so happy for her that she finally gets to go home, which I can tell she desperately misses, but I'm also so sad. The bonding we've had in these months has been phenomenal and I'm just not ready to give up getting up and having Malt O Meal with Mom every morning like when I was a kid... I'm also not sure I'm totally ready to live on my own again, doing the grocery shopping, laundry, garbage, and things like that that require carrying things up and down steep stairs that, I admit, I still have trouble making up under my own power without huffing and puffing. I'm getting better, though, and I need to get better faster. Lately we've been spending hours a day just playing Rock Band; it's been a hoot! We've done some cooking, but not as much as we've wanted to due to the heat. So Monday we take Mom to the airport, then doodle around for a few hours before my doctor's appointment.

Which takes me to my next point: where am I going from here? When can I go back to work? I feel almost ready, and I definitely feel ready to replace that lost income! We're not drowning, but we're also not sipping margaritas on the poolside, kiddies. Luckily my insurance coverage continues to be excellent, and I am getting reduced COBRA rates (don't look that up if you don't have to; it's insurance continuation and a pain in the ass). I plan on this appointment being a quiz of the doctor as to how soon I can get back along with life. I won't say that I want to go back to work (I've been pampered and praised for 4 months... would you? ;) but I want to go back to working, if that makes sense. Contributing. I feel lazy. I also would like to hear that some time soon I can go out in crowded places without a face mask and can eat sushi again and even take out the cat litter. My immune system is getting back to normal finally, and I want to take advantage of this fact! So after my Monday appointment I promise to let you all know the prognosis for the rest of my summer, if not life.

Heavy thoughts for the middle of the night. Perhaps I should go back to reading my mom's cat-themed murder mystery fluff. Sadly it is all I have left in the house that I haven't read or attempted to read.

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